Guest Post: The Curvy Witch’s Guide to Snagging Sexy Alpha Warlocks by Carmen Brixton 1


Before you go hot warlock hunting at your local Firewick Festival, or any triad matching ceremony for mating potentials, and find your perfect pair of warlocks, you should be prepared. After all, warlocks are aplenty at these things, and you deserve the best magical and muscular goodies possible.

Don’t believe me? Look in a mirror, you sexy thing you. For every negative body attribute you think you see, your perfect Alpha Warlocks will shove that negativity right out after some mystical sheet rolling.

I have proof these Alpha Warlocks exist. As I’m writing this, mine keep pestering my curvy assets to come to bed and are distracting me to no end. In smexy ways that are almost too hard to resist. Okay, plenty hard to resist.

Not to fret. I told them I’m focusing on witchy time with you then warlocky time with them. What would those twins ever do without me?

Now, trust me. I know the first set of warlocks you see will have you swooning and drooling. I don’t think ugly warlocks even exist over here in Kala West, Florida. But contain yourself and witch up. You’ve got all night and plenty of warlocks to test out.

These guys are like magical Harleys. You want one, but you’d love two. In fact, you need two to complete your Mystical Triad, which involves a lot of magic, hot sex, and…Well, you’ll have to wait and find out for yourself. Don’t want to spoil all the surprises.

Until then, I’ve put together six things you must do to get the perfect set of Alpha Warlocks for you. Why six? Because that’s how many it takes, so perk up and take notes.


  1. Attending is not optional.

Whatever you do, don’t avoid the invitation to your local festival by the Elemental Board. It’s required that you attend. That’s annoying as an empty cauldron. I hate when people tell me what to do too, but stuffy El-Board is serious about this. If you don’t show up on time, don’t be surprised if you magically appear before them. My big sis Charice says it’s no fun, and I believe her.

My sisters and I are paired with some powerful warlocks, who we wouldn’t trade for the world. Still, we believe you should choose whether you want to go or not. From my experience, you definitely want to go. Who wouldn’t want a field of delicious warlocks ripe for the picking?

  1. Your warlocks must be Alpha Warlock material. No exceptions!

What do I mean by that? When they look at you, do you feel like they’re magically undressing you one thread at a time? Does it seem like your panties will go up in a cloud of smoke just from their touch? Do they put you first above everything and everyone else? If so, congratulations! Those Alpha Warlocks have what it takes to make a proper witch out of you.

Keep in mind, lovelies, Alpha Warlock does not mean acting macho or disrespecting you. You have my permission to turn these into toads. I know, witch stereotype and all, but they deserve it for not treating you like the magical goddess you are.

Better yet, let your true warlocks make eunuchs out of them. Use that power to show them what real Alpha Warlocks can do. The ones who don’t deserve you will wet their pants in no time.


  1. Don’t listen to Ass-locks.

I don’t care what those warlocks look like. Testing your triad compatibility does not require them licking you. You’re not a lollipop. Sure, you’re yummy, mystical goodness, but if anyone tells you they want to see how many licks it takes to get to your center…see number two above.

Actually, if they’re your TRUE Alpha Warlocks, licking may not be a bad idea. But I digress.

Ass-locks are a no go. Period.


  1. YOU are in control. Not them.

Own it like you know it! Your warlocks understand that you hold the power to initiate the bond with them. They do the waiting, and you do the choosing. In short, we run this Motha.

Enjoy the power. Take a nice and long hot bubble bath in it. Fill that sucker with champagne and roses. This is your time, and you do the picking.


  1. Dress to make those Alphas fall at your feet.

Whether you prefer those sexy tight jeans or a flattering dress to show those legs, dress in whatever makes you feel like the best witch you can be.

To be honest, you could wear an over-sized painter’s jumper and plastic shoes, and your warlocks would still love you. Your properly-chosen warlocks are good like that.

But let’s be real. We dress in things we love for us first. Wear whatever makes you feel like the queen of the night. Put that sucker on. Remember, you’re the power holder. Show them what you’re made of.


  1. Rein in your magic ASAP.

Auriella made me put this one in because there are dangers that can come up at these things. This is for your own good. She told me to say that.

When you meet your Alpha Warlocks, your body and your magic will know it. Heavy emphasis on the “your magic” part. The last thing you want is for your water element to bring on a flood to drench festival attendees.

Put powerful witches and warlocks together, and you’re sure to have some magical accidents. Ever hear about the witch who transported a skyscraper from New York to the Catskills? Nope. Because the Elemental Board in New York made it go away.

How do I know? You don’t need to worry about that. Just balance out your magic before attending. Then again, it may be a sexy feat to see your warlocks rescue you. Do so at your own risk. I don’t want angry letters on how you brought down fireballs on the event after your Alpha Warlocks made your internal fire roar. Lock that magic down.


  1. Expect the best sex magic of your life!

What? I know I said six, but I’m throwing a seventh in for good measure. Blame my Magic ADHD, which is what my sisters and Auriella call it. Not my Alpha Warlocks. They know better.

Let me say it again. Magic. Sex. I think we all can agree this is the best step of all. You think sex with one warlock is amazing? Wait until you have two kissing and touching every inch of you. Magic takes it to a whole other realm.

I promise, if you feel down about your body in any way, your Alpha Warlocks will remind you just how perfect you are for them. I guarantee it.

Well, it’s time for me to enforce my own version of step seven. My Alpha Warlocks are calling me to bed, and I never like to keep them waiting too long. I don’t like denying myself from them too long either, for that matter.

Blessed be, my witches, and get ready to enjoy the journey to your Alpha Warlocks in all its splendor!

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Check out Carmen Brixton’s and her sisters’ stories in The Alpha Warlocks of Kala West series.

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